Accidental Presidents

In a world where chaos often masquerades as order, and reality teeters on the edge of absurdity, there arose a curious phenomenon known as the Accidental President. Donald Trump, a man better known for his gaudy real estate ventures and reality TV antics, stumbled into the political arena like a bull in a china shop. He wasn’t there to win, mind you. No, his mission was simpler and infinitely more chaotic: to shake the foundations of political decorum and to shove the Overton window so far it would crash through the walls of the establishment.

Trump’s campaign was meant to be a check and balance, a way to force politicians to address the real issues. He anticipated losing but hoped to leave a lasting impact, perhaps spawning a new political network or show in the aftermath.

He spoke words that no other politician dared to utter, not because they were profound or poetic, but because they were raw, unfiltered, and tapped into a deep well of public frustration. Immigration was his clarion call. The vast majority of Americans, tired of seeing their concerns ignored, saw in Trump a mouthpiece for their anger and hope.

“Build the wall,” he chanted, and with those three words, he ignited a fervor. To many, it was a practical solution to a problem that had been festering for too long. Illegal immigration, a topic brushed under the carpet by career politicians, was dragged into the harsh light of day. Trump proposed to stop it, to put American interests first in a world that seemed increasingly globalized at their expense.

Donald Trump was not your typical politician. He was a workaholic, a man trained in the cutthroat world of real estate where the stakes were high and the competition fierce. He possessed an uncanny ability to zero in on essential details with the precision of a hawk spotting its prey. Coupled with a genetic trait that required him to sleep only four hours a night, Trump outworked and outlasted his competitors, not just in business, but in life.

For decades, he thrived in the high-octane, adrenaline-fueled markets of New York, turning deals and spinning narratives with the ease of a maestro conducting a symphony. And he enjoyed every minute of it. To Trump, life was a game, and he played to win.

As he observed the political landscape, he found it lacking. The politicians were unimpressive, their promises hollow, their actions sluggish. Trump, ever the competitor, figured he could easily overwhelm the established political machines. He entered the race not as a true believer but as a disruptor, a man on a mission to show that the emperor had no clothes. He mocked the rules of public discourse, breaking taboos with a grin and revealing them as the flimsy constructs they were—mere protections for liars and the ineffectual.

Vanquishing Jeb

The establishment candidate, Jeb Bush, was the first to fall. Jeb, with his well-coiffed hair and deep war-chest, was the anointed one, the latest scion of the Bush dynasty. The elites were confident that their $100 million investment in Jeb’s campaign would steamroll all competition. But Trump, with his brashness and irreverence, saw through the facade. He mocked Jeb as “low energy,” a paper tiger propped up by a family name that had long outlived its political relevance. The Bush dynasty, Trump reminded the public, had presided over wars and recessions, leaving little of note in their wake. The people listened, and Jeb was soon relegated to the annals of failed political legacies.

One by one, Trump vanquished his opponents, each a stalwart of the Republican establishment. There was Marco Rubio, the young senator with dreams of Camelot; Ted Cruz, the firebrand with a penchant for grandstanding; and John Kasich, the steady governor who believed in a moderate path. Each fell to Trump’s unrelenting assault, his refusal to play by the traditional rules of decorum and civility that had long governed political contests. Trump’s insults were crude, his rhetoric incendiary, but it resonated with a populace tired of polished but empty promises.

As the dust settled, Trump stood alone, the improbable victor of a contest he had entered as a lark. His campaign had started as a protest, a way to push the boundaries of what could be said in American politics. But in clearing away the establishment, Trump had done more than win a nomination; he had redefined the Republican Party. The party of Lincoln and Reagan was now his to mold, and he intended to shape it into a vessel for the public interest, not the entrenched elites.

And so, against all odds, and much to his own surprise, Trump found himself catapulted from protest candidate to President-elect. He hadn’t won because he was the best man for the job, nor because he had the most coherent policies. He won because he was willing to discuss the undiscussable, to give voice to the voiceless, and to stand as a flawed, imperfect vessel for a nation’s pent-up frustration.

The establishment reeled. How could this have happened? They were the career politicians, the interchangeable parts of a well-oiled machine that had been running smoothly for decades. Yet, here was Trump, an outsider, an anomaly, an accident grown large.

Hillary Clinton tried to use the power of her political dynasty to buttress the establishment. The Clintons had been a fixture in American politics for decades, profiting immensely while the nation reaped dubious benefits from their tenure. The whispers of scandal followed them like shadows—accusations of corruption, mishandling of classified information, dozens of unusual murders and suicides, and the infamous deleted emails. The Clintons had amassed personal fortunes through their public service, yet everything they touched seemed to crumble into disorder and disguise.

Hillary Clinton, with her meticulously crafted image and polished political machine, was supposed to be unbeatable. Yet, she too fell to Trump’s unconventional campaign. He labeled her “Crooked Hillary,” a nickname that stuck like glue. He highlighted her foreign policy blunders, her Wall Street ties, and the persistent aura of dishonesty that surrounded her. The public, weary of the establishment and craving change, saw in Trump a wrecking ball to the old order.

As the election neared, Trump’s campaign surged. He drew massive crowds, his rallies a mix of carnival and crusade. He spoke in a way no politician dared, breaking taboos and shattering norms. And when the votes were counted, against all odds, Donald Trump emerged victorious.

In one fell swoop, Trump had done what seemed impossible: he had cleared away both the Bush and Clinton dynasties, serving the public a greater favor than perhaps even he had anticipated. The nation, eager for a new direction, had chosen a man who promised to drain the swamp, to dismantle the entrenched powers, and to put America first.

Against all odds, the protest candidate won. The political landscape was forever changed. The Overton window had shifted, and the topics once considered taboo by the controlling elite and their vessels were now at the forefront of public discourse. The people had spoken, not through polished, well-spoken representatives, but through the brash, unpolished figure of Donald Trump.

The improbable had become reality, and Trump was now at the helm of the nation. This new era of politics, however, was fraught with challenges. The establishment loathed Trump for exposing their laziness, cowardice, stupidity, and ineffectiveness. They had been content to sit on their laurels, believing that a steady hand at the helm was all that was needed. Trump, with his brash style and disregard for tradition, had shown otherwise, smashing the old ways to pieces and leaving chaos in his wake.

It was his show now, and he was determined to prove that being a great President was not as hard as the establishment made it seem. Despite the resistance from both parties, despite the relentless opposition from Democrats and the remaining proxies of the establishment within his own party, Trump charged forward.

He tackled issues head-on, often in unorthodox ways, and reveled in the chaos he created. He exposed the inefficiencies and hypocrisies of the political system, much to the chagrin of his detractors. He was not a man of deep ideology but of action, and in his tenure, he sought to demonstrate that with enough willpower and a refusal to play by the old rules, even the most entrenched systems could be shaken to their core.

Biden’s Final Gaff

In 2019, Joe Biden’s family was gathered around the dinner table, their expressions a mix of concern and resignation. Joe, the aging patriarch with a history of political gaffes and an aggressive Irish temper, had decided to give the presidency one last shot. His family, saddened by the signs of his dementia, decided to humor him. After all, what harm could come from letting the tired old man chase one final dream?

Joe had stumbled out of previous presidential races under the cloud of embarrassing plagiarism accusations, a blow that many thought would end his political career. But Joe Biden was a man of peculiar resilience. Mediocre at everything but equally vicious and notoriously nasty when crossed, Joe knew what he wanted. He had been studying opportunity to secure his family’s future, to line up lucrative deals that would benefit his extended clan. He had seen others get rich and at some point felt it was his turn to cash in, and something he felt he deserved. Winning the presidency would keep investigations into corruption from getting too close.

As a candidate for the 2020 election, Biden inspired few voters. His campaign was lackluster, his ideas stale. He polled poorly, overshadowed by younger, more vibrant contenders. There was Bernie Sanders, the fiery socialist, and Elizabeth Warren, the policy wonk. Pete Buttigieg, the eloquent mayor, and Amy Klobuchar, the pragmatic senator, also outshone him. The expectation was that Joe’s campaign would amount to nothing, a mere footnote in a crowded field.

Joe Biden, with his 50-year tenure in the political arena, was not the most charismatic candidate, nor was he brimming with innovative ideas. His speeches often meandered, and his message seemed to lack the fire that younger candidates brought to the stage. Yet, Biden possessed something far more valuable in the world of politics: the mastery of the political game.

However, behind the scenes, Biden was orchestrating a different kind of campaign. Leveraging decades of political alliances, he called in favors, used his influence, made veiled threats, offered promises of future rewards, and exerted power in ways only a seasoned politician could. There were whispers of coercion, and some even suggested blackmail, but in the murky waters of politics, such tactics are often part of the game.

The crucial turning point came just before Super Tuesday. Biden’s unexpected victory in South Carolina, bolstered by the influential endorsement of Representative James Clyburn, breathed new life into his campaign. Sensing the shift, the Democratic establishment swung into action.

First, Pete Buttigieg, the golden boy, was summoned to a secret meeting. Barack Obama, the revered former president, made a compelling case. The young mayor saw the writing on the wall and graciously stepped aside, throwing his support behind Biden. Amy Klobuchar, ever the pragmatist, was next. She too received a call, and soon after, she too withdrew and endorsed Biden. Elizabeth Warren, though she stayed in a bit longer, ultimately could not withstand the gravitational pull of the Democratic establishment coalescing around Biden.

Even Bernie Sanders, the steadfast revolutionary, found himself facing an insurmountable force. The delegates, the superdelegates, the intricate machinery of the party—all coalesced to present Biden as the sole viable candidate. The revolution, it seemed, would have to wait.

The narrative crafted around Biden’s candidacy was one of necessity and unity. Despite his lackluster campaign, he became the candidate the entire party had to rally around to prevent a second term for Donald Trump. Trump was cast as a Russian spy, a villain capable of unspeakable acts, painting a picture of existential threat that required the Democrats to close ranks.

Joe Biden, once he had secured the Democratic nomination, found himself in an unusual predicament. He had no ideas, no coherent message, and no energy to campaign. COVID-19 provided a convenient cover, and so he remained in his basement, citing fears of the virus and logistical challenges. The phrase “call a lid” became the hallmark of his campaign, indicating yet another day when Biden would avoid public appearances, retreating from the world and its relentless scrutiny.

Some days, he could barely get out of bed. Other days, he had to turn in early, his mental faculties already compromised by age and the weight of a long political career. Meanwhile, Donald Trump, with his characteristic bravado, embarked on a whirlwind final week of campaigning. Trump was a force of nature, doing multiple rallies a night, sometimes visiting six or seven cities in a single day. His speeches, though often spontaneous and rambling, were infused with high energy. He left it all on the field, a stark contrast to Biden’s retreat.

Yet, in the midst of this chaos, Biden’s genius shone through. He had planned ahead, knowing that were to achieve victory, the path thereafter needed to be guided through the intricate machinery of political maneuvering. Kamala Harris, a politician with the charisma of a damp sponge and the likeability of a traffic ticket, was chosen as his running mate. It was a masterstroke. Biden knew that upon victory, his senility would become apparent, or worse, legal troubles from his family’s presumed corruption would surface. But the prospect of a Harris presidency was so unpalatable that even his fiercest enemies would prefer to tolerate his shortcomings and help him avoid serious investigation.

Harris was the perfect insurance policy. The establishment, media, and political elites, all rallied behind Biden, hiding him from public scrutiny and periodically propping him up like a marionette, while the real power brokers worked behind the scenes. The plan was clear: keep the façade intact, let the staff run the show, and maintain the illusion of normalcy.

And so, in this theater of the absurd, Joe Biden ascended to the presidency. It was a triumph of strategy over substance, of political acumen over genuine leadership. He had outmaneuvered the system, securing his legacy and extended family’s wealth selling influence, even as his faculties waned and the accusations of corruption loomed.

Trump Besieged

The public assumed that winning the election was the pinnacle of achievement. They imagined the President as a figure of immense power, the executive leader of the most powerful nation on Earth. But Trump soon discovered that the reality was far more complex and paradoxical. His victory had merely placed him in a position where he was surrounded by enemies, with knives poised to strike.

The remnants of the Republican establishment loathed Trump. He had vanquished their anointed ones, the paragons of their carefully curated political machine. Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, and Ted Cruz had fallen to his relentless attacks. Trump had exposed their incompetence, highlighting their history of poor leadership. The GOP, in turn, resented him for interrupting their profiteering and power brokering, for dragging their machinations into the harsh light of public scrutiny.

On the other side, the Democrats were no more welcoming. They saw Trump as a disruptor, a threat to their carefully constructed narrative. They did not want him fixing the economy, reducing unemployment, or tackling crime, for each success would expose their rhetoric as fraudulent. They needed the status quo to maintain their grip on power.

Trump, with his unorthodox methods, decided to test the political system. The public, long suspicious of career politicians, saw in him a wrecking ball, ready to demolish the façade of Washington D.C. While Hillary Clinton had declared that North Korea relations were too complicated to be solved with a tweet, Trump did just that. With a single tweet, he initiated a peace process that confounded experts and critics alike, demonstrating a crude yet highly effective approach to international diplomacy.

This raised a profound question: What else had been pretended to be complicated, only to prolong the reign of the powerful? How many problems, presented as insurmountable, could actually be solved trivially if approached differently? Trump’s actions suggested that much of what leaders claimed was complex was, in fact, a smokescreen to extend their tenure and influence.

Despite his successes, Trump found himself besieged. The establishment, both Republican and Democrat, had their knives out. They viewed him as a threat to their carefully balanced power structures. His own party hated him for exposing their corruption and ineffectiveness. The Democrats despised him for challenging their narrative and disrupting their plans.

Trump, the Accidental President, realized that the power he thought he wielded was an illusion. The true power lay in the entrenched systems and the people who operated them behind the scenes. The experts, the advisors, the bureaucrats—many of them were liars for the powerful, perpetuating myths of complexity to maintain their positions.

Trump’s presidency was a paradox. He had reached the pinnacle of political power, only to find it a hollow victory. Yet, in his unorthodox approach, he exposed the vulnerabilities and hypocrisies of the political system. He demonstrated that many of the so-called complexities of governance were, in fact, fabrications designed to maintain the status quo.

Biden’s Scripted Show

Biden’s public appearances were meticulously scripted. Reporters were required to submit their questions for approval, and Biden carried paper cards with pre-approved answers. His speeches were delivered from teleprompters, yet he struggled with the syntax of the English language, often reading stage directions aloud, much to the public’s confusion.

In one instance, he famously read “End of Quote” aloud, revealing his disconnection from the content he was delivering. These episodes exposed the depth of his cognitive decline. He admitted in public that he had to stay on script to avoid getting “in trouble,” a stark admission of his limited autonomy.

Behind the scenes, an administrative staff ran the show. Biden made no decisions; he wasn’t mentally capable. Yet, his rubber stamp was indispensable for the bureaucratic machinery that operated in his name. It was a sad fate for a man who had spent his life in public service. Instead of enjoying his final years with his family, Biden found himself a figurehead, facilitating an illegitimate bureaucratic structure that wielded his authority.

The 2024 election loomed, and the nation faced a choice between two Accidental Presidents. Donald Trump, the outsider who had battled the entrenched bureaucracy, and Joe Biden, the mentally compromised figurehead with a shadow staff running the show. It was a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea, each candidate a testament to the tragic absurdity of American politics.

Both Trump and Biden, accidental presidents in their own rights, epitomized the paradox of power in modern politics. Trump, the disruptor, challenged the status quo and exposed the fraudulent complexities of governance, yet found himself besieged by a system designed to resist change. Biden, the figurehead, won the presidency but lost his autonomy, serving as a puppet for the very system he was supposed to lead.

Their stories reflect a deep irony: the leaders of the most powerful nation on Earth are often the ones with the least real power. They are swept into office by the whims of fate and the tides of public opinion, only to find themselves constrained by the very institutions they sought to command.

In the end, the saga of Trump and Biden as Accidental Presidents is a testament to the absurdity and unpredictability of democracy. It is a tale of two men, each an improbable leader, caught in the indifferent machinery of a political system that grinds on. It is a reminder that in the grand theater of American democracy, the actors are often less important than the script they are given.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Pedro Lawson says:

    During the rally, Trump said Harris was the “best insurance policy I’ve ever seen,” adding that her unpopularity and incompetence was helping Biden keep a grip on the Democratic Party. Trump said, “If Joe had picked someone even halfway competent,” the Democrats “would have bounced him from office years ago.”

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