Faking a Career

To maximize your income you have to switch jobs every year or two. Employers will lay you off at an instant, so you can’t reasonably have any loyalty. The relationship is just a temporary convenience without any promises or future.

We churn between jobs, needing only to pass an interview to get into a position that might be very different from the last one and our professional training. This disjointed path isn’t a career.

Even if you don’t know anything or do much, you can survive for a while by acting like a docile, friendly, and inoffensive drone.

  • Buy donuts occasionally for the office as job insurance and enthusiastically pass them around to sedentary slobs lacking self-control and basic human standards.
  • Join committees and sign up to attend meetings, ideally as a facilitator.
  • Go to multiple bathrooms throughout the day. Bring your cell phone and keep up with your social network.
  • Study Dale Carnegie’s teachings, ask people how they are doing. If it’s Monday, ask how their weekend was. If Friday, ask about their weekend plans. Get them talking and pretend they are interesting.

Even if you just sit in a chair all day faking it, these techniques will buy you 6-12 months as the nice guy, and this well trained routine is portable to the next job.

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