Detached Salesmen

The salesman chases leads and uses his cunning to convert them into sales. Because his social skills are unusual compared to workers, they are given fairly free reign and little scrutiny so long as they bring in sales. Since they work for a commission, they utilize this flexibility to shift costs — and are cognizant…

Hazard Pay

IT work dwells in non-human abstractions. The problems being solved rarely consider human relevancy. Management tracks with metrics detached from quality. Policies keep workers in compliance yet fail to bring about good results. Removing humanity from daily life creates a challenging dynamic, like an astronaut transported into outer space far from family, home, and everything…

The Simulation Simplifies By Using NPCs

After listening to all the office chatter about the opinions of dull minds consuming shows, movies, and sports I tried it myself for months by repeating the same opinions as theirs about things I had never watched. They never realized I was a confederate! Every time I faked it they believed my pointless opinion was…

Leftism is the new Free Pizza

Before Google and Twitter, technology companies used to prove their coolness by periodically buying large quantities of pizza. Executives would happily pay a few hundred dollars for bad pizza to thrill easily stimulated workers and get thousands of dollars of work for the investment. Free pizza evolved to chef-led kitchens so workers would ideally start…

Bordain’s Suicide By Job

Bordain’s public persona talked him into a corner with the convincing line that he had the best job in the world. He repeated that mantra as an opiate to sooth him from the brutal consequences of his self-imposed schedule of exhaustion. Lonely moments of reflections gave insight on the pointlessness of making yet another disposable…

Poison Your Coworkers

Everyone in the office tries to play innocent. They exert no physical effort and arguably minimal mental effort while shoveling the worst foods into their plumping bellies. It’s no wonder they put on ten pounds a year and after just a few sedentary seasons are looking bloated and weak. The first thing you should consider…

Sleep Deprivation Will Make You a Million

White collar workers are chronically sleep deprived from waking up too early and taking work home to ponder at night, while checking email and texts at all hours and being dramatically preoccupied with small events that don’t matter much. Many add in habitual late night shows, watching sports, movies, video games, and other base amusements…

IT Testing Center Comedy

The IT testing center was an accredited space where clients could take training classes and certificate bearing exams. These were needed because university degrees no longer conferred knowledge or general competence. Hiring managers were similarly deficient and couldn’t weed out fakers from the experienced, and everyone was lying about their skills on resumes. It was…

Reverse Engineering

Our jobs are silly duties we’re willing to tolerate in exchange for money we can use on larger goals. Everything else being the same, you’d just as well shovel septic sludge all day, restore order in the mentally traumatized, harvest organs for malevolent overlords, or provide skilled legal advice to extract good peopleĀ  from the…

Thinning Away Low Morale

Amazon is offering employees $2000 to $5000 if they want to quit. Those who will accept the offer obviously don’t want to be there. Amazon’s offer is a way out for workers who think the job is hell and need a cushion to help them leave for a new job. Without such payments to quit,…