Poison Your Coworkers

Everyone in the office tries to play innocent. They exert no physical effort and arguably minimal mental effort while shoveling the worst foods into their plumping bellies. It’s no wonder they put on ten pounds a year and after just a few sedentary seasons are looking bloated and weak. The first thing you should consider…

Sleep Deprivation Will Make You a Million

White collar workers are chronically sleep deprived from waking up too early and taking work home to ponder at night, while checking email and texts at all hours and being dramatically preoccupied with small events that don’t matter much. Many add in habitual late night shows, watching sports, movies, video games, and other base amusements…

IT Testing Center Comedy

The IT testing center was an accredited space where clients could take training classes and certificate bearing exams. These were needed because university degrees no longer conferred knowledge or general competence. Hiring managers were similarly deficient and couldn’t weed out fakers from the experienced, and everyone was lying about their skills on resumes. It was…

Reverse Engineering

Our jobs are silly duties we’re willing to tolerate in exchange for money we can use on larger goals. Everything else being the same, you’d just as well shovel septic sludge all day, restore order in the mentally traumatized, harvest organs for malevolent overlords, or provide skilled legal advice to extract good people¬† from the…

Thinning Away Low Morale

Amazon is offering employees $2000 to $5000 if they want to quit. Those who will accept the offer obviously don’t want to be there. Amazon’s offer is a way out for workers who think the job is hell and need a cushion to help them leave for a new job. Without such payments to quit,…

Gas Clouds Over The Office

The woman with an intestinal disorder regularly deploys a flurry of chemical warfare¬†spraying strong floral scents into the air to combat organic methane in its revolutionary struggle to break free of its oppressive confines. Her office broadcasts the smell of endless trench warfare. You are just trying to earn money and get work done, but…

Raw Talent

Raw talent, general proficiency, and natural abilities aren’t valued at all, only specific skills with business application. You’ll notice how many “professionals” demonstrate low ability to reason and usually lack creativity. They’ve learned how to memorize and repeat instead of mastering their tiny domain in which they claim expertise. Many are disorganized, so any request…

Make It Easy

Your co-workers are your fellow prisoners and inmates. You are bound together from different fates and sentenced to endure time together with each daily shift counting towards time served. Because your task is endurance, your decency compels you to make it easy on others who face the same hard demands. Empathy calls for you to…

Always Be Gaming

I took a new job and studied how they use the electronic calendars to schedule meetings. Then to avoid morning meetings, I set up private daily recurring meetings every half hour from 8am until 10am. Anyone checking my schedule before setting up a meeting would see I was already booked and would politely schedule the…

Classes are Filibusters

Classes suffer the same problem as radio and news shows that fill long programs with bloat instead of informing. They use as many words as possible to say the trivial so they can appear to be full of material. A class that takes two hours to cover 10 minutes of material is measured by some…